Sophie doesn't like me to take pictures of her very often, unless she is sticking out her tongue or doing something equally silly. And that's okay sometimes.... jut not always! She miraculously let me snap a few pictures after she'd gotten ready for church this Sunday. Sophie is looking too grown up lately, and seriously this girl is a gem! Not only is she lovely on the outside, she is just as sweet on the inside. Ten can be a hard age, caught between childhood and not-quite-as-grown-up-as-you-think-you-are. Since I posted something we are working on with Nora I thought I'd also post something about Sophie that we are dealing with. I am not focusing on the negative here, I just like to have a record of our real life... and real life isn't always just perfect (and really, who wants perfect anyway?) Besides, I think it will be fun for my girls to look back and read about things like this when they grow up..... or at least so I can read them and laugh when I'm old!
Sophie is a feminist. I don't mean that necessarily in a bad way, but she's only ten. And she's already just so passionate about the unfairness of being a girl/woman. She has shed many, many tears because she feels the world favors men and boys. She hates when a girl has to be "saved" by a boy in any book or movie. She hates that women couldn't vote until 1920 and that they had to wear dresses and not have a career. I think this has all come about because she's a tomboy and loves all things outdoors, sports, nature, etc. and many of her friends are more girly then she is. Last week for Activity days they were doing manicures and Sophie was literally in tears over it. I told her she couldn't go if she was going to be rude about it and make her leaders feel bad for planning an activity that most of the girls would enjoy. She wants to join the Boy Scouts and go camping with them and tie knots, etc. A few months ago she wanted to wear pants to church. I told her no and she argued and pushed and asked why not. I told her because we wear dresses to show respect to Heavenly Father and to remind us to act like ladies. She said she can do that just as well in pants. Knowing her as well as I do I said this, "Sophie. Today there is no time for you to change, so next week if you feel this strongly about it you may wear pants. But today while we are at church I want you to look around and think about how you would feel if you were wearing pants today." She said okay and we went to church. After about 10 minutes in Sacrament meeting she leaned over to me and said, "Yeah... I guess I would feel pretty weird in pants." Now, there are a number of ladies in my ward who wear pants to church at times. This doesn't bother me. But I grew up always wearing skirts/dresses to church so that is how I plan to raise my daughters. I have no problem wearing dresses and it doesn't make me feel any less of a person or like I "have" to do it. I like dresses! And though I don't mind women wearing pants to church I think it's silly to wear pants to church just to make a statement.
Anyway, after much thought and prayer I decided that Sophie needed to learn more about the Relief Society organization of our church. She is focusing on all the things she can't do, and not on all the wonderful things we are blessed with as women. So I've had her start reading the new Relief Society book Daughters in my Kingdom and she is really enjoying it. I hope she'll feel proud and happy to be a girl/woman after she finishes it.
Parenting is hard.
And the best thing ever.
Sophie is a feminist. I don't mean that necessarily in a bad way, but she's only ten. And she's already just so passionate about the unfairness of being a girl/woman. She has shed many, many tears because she feels the world favors men and boys. She hates when a girl has to be "saved" by a boy in any book or movie. She hates that women couldn't vote until 1920 and that they had to wear dresses and not have a career. I think this has all come about because she's a tomboy and loves all things outdoors, sports, nature, etc. and many of her friends are more girly then she is. Last week for Activity days they were doing manicures and Sophie was literally in tears over it. I told her she couldn't go if she was going to be rude about it and make her leaders feel bad for planning an activity that most of the girls would enjoy. She wants to join the Boy Scouts and go camping with them and tie knots, etc. A few months ago she wanted to wear pants to church. I told her no and she argued and pushed and asked why not. I told her because we wear dresses to show respect to Heavenly Father and to remind us to act like ladies. She said she can do that just as well in pants. Knowing her as well as I do I said this, "Sophie. Today there is no time for you to change, so next week if you feel this strongly about it you may wear pants. But today while we are at church I want you to look around and think about how you would feel if you were wearing pants today." She said okay and we went to church. After about 10 minutes in Sacrament meeting she leaned over to me and said, "Yeah... I guess I would feel pretty weird in pants." Now, there are a number of ladies in my ward who wear pants to church at times. This doesn't bother me. But I grew up always wearing skirts/dresses to church so that is how I plan to raise my daughters. I have no problem wearing dresses and it doesn't make me feel any less of a person or like I "have" to do it. I like dresses! And though I don't mind women wearing pants to church I think it's silly to wear pants to church just to make a statement.
Anyway, after much thought and prayer I decided that Sophie needed to learn more about the Relief Society organization of our church. She is focusing on all the things she can't do, and not on all the wonderful things we are blessed with as women. So I've had her start reading the new Relief Society book Daughters in my Kingdom and she is really enjoying it. I hope she'll feel proud and happy to be a girl/woman after she finishes it.
Parenting is hard.
And the best thing ever.
3 comments:
Oh my goodness. Sophie is lucky to have you as her mom. What patience you have. I can relate to every feeling she is having. I remember feeling the same way at her age and all through my teens. It really can be frustrating to be a girl! LOL! p.s. That's a beautiful picture!
You tell Sophie that grandpa said, "You Go Girl"
This bit of information took me completely by surprise. Good thing she has such great parents.
It just goes to show each child comes with a pre-earth history. And I thought Nora was the free spirit.
I love this post! This girl is amazing! What a beautiful picture too! I am positive you and Brian will guide her in the right direction and she will soon be happy with herself being a girl! I can't believe she is reading the Relief Society Book! Good for her. Amazing women, I guess I should read it! Love you so much.
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