Sophie seems to think that turning 5 has made her an adult. She is quite certain she can now do anything she pleases despite our efforts to convince her that we are still in charge. She has always been our strong willed child and we've started (finally!) reading this book entitled Setting Limits with your Strong-Willed Child, I highly recommend it to any parent. And although she is stubborn and feisty we wouldn't have her any other way! She is an incredible big sister and is so excited to start school next month! I took Sophie to the doctor last week for her 5 year check-up and to have her kindergarten shots and it didn't go so well. The doctor asked me if I though she was ready for school and I said Yes! Definitely! Absolutely! (or something like that) Well, during the check-up Sophie would not do what the doctor wanted her to and pretty much clung to me the whole time and wouldn't say a word (she was terrified he was going to do the shots)! By the end of the appointment the doctor basically said that Sophie was going to have a huge adjustment going to school since she's never gone to pre-school and has just been home with me and that if she couldn't follow his instructions then she'll have a hard time listening to her teacher at school. I was bothered, but so tired (it had been a week or so of long nights with sick kids), and I admit I was a little annoyed that Sophie refused to show him what a smarty she is that I just didn't say anything at all for fear I would just start crying (I'm such a baby sometimes!!!) So the doctor left and 2 wonderful nurses came in and helped me get Sophie out from underneath the table and promised her stickers and pencils after her shots. Luckily that worked and soon enough we were on our way home. As we were driving home I started getting ticked off at the doctor. Who does he think he is telling me my little girl isn't ready for school? Just because he was there for all of 5 minutes does NOT mean he knows her at all! And I think I should be PROUD that she didn't want to talk to some weird man she'd never met before! Of course school will be an adjustment. I know that. But I know Sophie is ready. But I'm not sure I am (just on some days!) 
Nora is about to turn 3 years old and just the opposite of her big sister in the fact that she does NOT want to grow up! She said to us the other day, "When Miles grows up can I be the baby?" And I admit I don't want her to grow up either! Okay, I do want the diapers and the binky to be gone, but otherwise I want her to stay my little Nora Gracie Girl forever!! The potty training is going pretty good. Some days she stays dry all day and some days she has 5 accidents (grrrr). The problem is she doesn't mind being in pull-ups. When she has an accident and I tell her she has to wear a pull-up since she peed in her pants she says, "Okay!" and happily puts one on. Not the reaction I want. Why do they make pull-ups so darn cute! I should start buying the boy ones instead of the princess ones so she WON'T want to wear them! So I've decided I must be confusing her by wearing pull-ups sometimes and underwear other times. She must forget which one she has on! But we are making progress. As for the binky. Sigh. I have been telling her for about a month that if kids turn 3 years old and they still have their binky, a binky fairy comes in the night and takes all their binkies and leaves them a present. She gets it. She claims it's okay. But I've been fooled by this one before so I am anticipating some looong dramatic nights ahead! But I am going to stay strong this time. Unlike the 2 times before that we've taken the bink away. This time is IT. Or I'll be really embarrassed. That's a good reason, isn't it?
Miles is still such a good baby but lately has not been feeling well. A few weeks ago he started sleeping really REALLY poorly so we went to the doctor and he had an ear infection. See here. We got some antibiotics and that helped but a few days ago he started sleeping bad again. I don't know if it's teeth or just a habit now of waking up a lot or what but he is still waking frequently and being quite insistent that he be nursed back to sleep. But when he is feeling good he is still our sweet, sweet boy! He has two bottom teeth and can sit up all by himself (still falls over occasionally and whacks his head). He makes us all smile every day!** On a side note - I did not mean to infer that I thought the doctor was an idiot. His first impression of Sophie was not a good one and I may have thought the same things that he did based on their first meeting. BUT this was the first time he had ever met her and he was not very child friendly. He did not explain to Sophie why he wanted her to do the things he asked her to do. He just asked her to do them (like lift her shirt up so he could feel her belly and stand up and close your eyes and touch your nose) so when she cowered away from him and clung to me he just got annoyed. Yes, this was my fault. I should have done better at explaining to Sophie that she needed to listen to the doctor and do what he asks because it is his job to make sure she is healthy. But we've never had a problem with her at the doctor's office before but maybe that's because she was younger, or because the doctor went about it in a better way to get her to feel comfortable with him/her. Sophie does not usually have a problem with listening and following directions when she is comfortable with the person. I will be sure to explain to her next time that the doctor is there to help her and as long as I am with her she should do what he asks.
13 comments:
I can't believe that a Doctor of all people would make that comment about a child that he doesn't see all of the time, or only sees when they are sick! That is crazy and I wouldn't listen to him if I were you! She seems like a wonderful child and very bright. Of course children are going to be scared if they are getting shots or having someone look at them that they are not used to. I'm sorry that you had to go through that.
Your kids are so adorable...and the pictures are always so cute!
I will definitely have to check out that Strong-Willed book...even at 3 Micah is starting to really butt heads with us, and is sooooo stubborn!
It really bothers me that the Dr. said "...since she has never gone to preschool and has JUST been home with me..."! Ugh what does he mean JUST??? I struggled for a while wondering whether I should put Jackie in preschool, only because so many people acted as though if I didn't I was a terrible mom. I know that keeping her home is a great thing. I can teach and play and help her just as much. She has play time with other kids (I know Sophie has had this too). So why do they think preschool is so important? Ok for some reason I am on a soapbox. I will step down now....Sophie is great and she will be awesome at school. All changes take some adjusting. That is normal! Love you!
It's annoying when other people tell you how to parent, especially when it seems that their own experience is lacking. In the interest of fairness, though, I'd point out a couple of things:
1. Who does he think he is? My guess is he thinks he is a medical professional, hired and paid by you, to evaluate your child's health and well-being on a limited-information basis. He also thinks that he has observed hundreds, if not thousands of 5-year olds, and is thusly qualified to make such a judgment.
2. What the doctor said about taking instructions is absolutely true. Learning to understand that there are many authority figures, and understanding the limits on their authority (teachers don't get to dictate religious beliefs, primary school teachers don't get to perform medical examinations) beyond their own parents is something almost ALL children struggle with. What the doctor said was a statement of fact, not necessarily a personal jab at being a stay-at-home, closely-involved mom or a judgment of your child's competence.
As annoying as it might have felt, I really doubt his comments were meant as personally as they may have been taken.
You know your kids best so my advice is to just ignore everyone else! And, as always, they all look so cute in those pictures!
I too feel badly for how the doctor responded. I also respect "dead seriously's" insights. However, I want to point out that this Doctor's comments are likely beyond the scope of his expertise. If you were to assess how much time they spend in medical school on how to tell if kids are ready for school, I'd say you'd be looking at maybe 30 seconds :)
Also, as for his experience with seeing hundreds/thousands of kids, that is true. However, I doubt he has ever actually followed the children he thought might have difficulty adjusting to make sure he was actually right. Will he ever know if he was wrong with Sophie? No. So he'll keep on giving the same advice, not knowing whether it is completely valid or not.
Lastly, I think the authority figures comment is true, but it takes on a different tone when that authority figure wants to HURT you (which is what a child would perceive). Doctors have a tough job and have to know about a lot of things. However, it would be better if they knew where their training and expertise lies. Anyway, just my two cents.
I've had similar responses from my doctor and after thinking about it, I knew she was overreating. I guess that's their job and we have to trust our instincts as mothers. I'm sure Sophie will be a kindergarten master! I'm definitely looking into that book for Rachel. Funny how children with the same parents turn out to be so different! Good luck with the coming weeks of school!
That would tick me off at that stupid doctor. You know your children better than anyone.
Sorry about your bad day. I totally understand. Remember my last post? I don't get people sometimes. Sophie will be just fine. You know her, and if you think she will be ok, then she will. You are her mom. Remember that. You have cute kids. As for the potty training. I have found going cold turkey is the best, there will be messes, but they understand it better when they are not switching back and forth between underwear and diapers. I don't know if that helps any. Good luck.
In Montana they asked Maddie to take her right arm, drape it over her head and try to touch her left ear. If she could she was ready and she was. Lets just say this year Corey will turn 5 in September, he is NOT ready for school and he can't touch his ear either.
It's funny how defensive we get when a stranger judges our beautiful children. I personally wanted to slap him around some as I was reading your blog. But the bottom line is that you know Sophie and how smart she is as do we all. And as for no preschool I understand the importance of preschool for children who don't have parents that interact with them, read to them, teach them every day like you and the rest of our children do. It is so fun to watch each of our families as you raise your children. You are all awesome!!!
Grandpa
Being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done. Reading your post reminds me again of how hard it is.
I want to add to the other comments that you are a fantastic mother, and your experience with teaching at a preschool should not be forgotten, Sophie is so lucky to have you as her MAMA. :)
Anyway around it, kindergarten is a big adjustment, no matter what preparations we make, there is always some things that our children are going to have to adjust to and learn on their own. But I personally do think Sophie will do fantastic at Kindergarten, (As I hope Tuck will too!) but as with any big change, it will be an adjustment, and hopefully they can both adjust well!
Love you guys! and Miss you!
I would have been ticked at the doctor too. I thought I would be able to handle things from strangers better than I do, but I get so bugged when people assume they know more thant you about your situation or your kids. I know they mean well. I think that is why as people grow older they start saying less and listen more.
That picture of Miles makes him look like a toddler! I can't believe how quickly they grow!! It seems like we were talking about the dreams we had at 13 years old about having kids and being moms.
I miss you and hope I will get to see you eventhough your mama is moving. I just saw her Tuesday and it made me so sad to know she was leaving so soon.
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